BasicInfo
Please note that every effort has been made to keep all content of the diary entries identical to the original (including things like line breaks). The only modification that has been made is standardization of the dates, since several different formats were used (m.d.y, m/d/y, m-d-y). You may notice that some entries end abruptly or trail off - this is not due to incorrect transcription - feel free to compare to the original pdf copy at bidendiary.com.
DiaryEntry
2019-03-12
So... we are running. Announcement will be in April or early May. It is all super anxiety producing but I just have to take it one day at a time + relax. I know the move to Del Ray[sic] will be good for me to get away + really focus on my recovery. I just have to stay relaxed and confident about my decision to get really stable + really healthy. Is a move what's going to make the difference – how do I know? How do I know that I'm making the right move? Literally. I'm nervous that I'll get closer to Eric + then will have to detach from him as we move further into 20/20. He isn't the guy that I would normally go for + def wasn't trying to get my feelings all mixed up in it. But it's happened + I have to trust that God has a plan for me that I can't yet know or see. I wish I could just go back to loving + living with Howard. Back to a settled marriage. Back to happiness, love, + joy. But those days have passed + I'm not certain they can + will return. I do know that I have to stay away from the Devil – it only brings me more anxiety, fear, + pain. There is nothing good that comes with that.
LinguisticAnalysis
| Sentiment (-1=negative, 1=positive) | |
| Score | 0.1514602567119 |
| Emotion Scores (0-1) | |
| Joy | 1 |
| Sadness | 0 |
| Fear | 0.2 |
| Anger | 0 |
| Surprise | 0.49707530443843 |
| Disgust | 0 |
| Key Words | |
| know just really joy trust god wish loving living settled | |
Sentiment Score
Emotion Graph
Word Cloud