BasicInfo
Please note that every effort has been made to keep all content of the diary entries identical to the original (including things like line breaks). The only modification that has been made is standardization of the dates, since several different formats were used (m.d.y, m/d/y, m-d-y). You may notice that some entries end abruptly or trail off - this is not due to incorrect transcription - feel free to compare to the original pdf copy at bidendiary.com.
DiaryEntry
2019-02-17
I am pissed, freaking out, + acting insane – thinking of Howard – my husband – with another woman! It's actually not fair + not right. I have been with other men + it's just not fair @ all. Why am I feeling this way and do I need more time to try and figure it out? Does this mean that I am still into my husband? It's about giving it time – the impulses – the reactions – I need to pause. Relax – take a walk – do something that distracts me! He is probably sound asleep but definitely not healthy. It makes me sad but he is an enternal party boy. I do think that if that was different things may be slightly differently. I do think that he uses much more than he should + could have a slight problem. I don't know who to approach this conversation Florida Pro's Con's Time away to figure out what Ashley wants Recovery community Caron therapists Work on recovery + time to get it right Get away from pressure Con's Away from family Summers away from home Giving up security (Also a pro) Old haunts → Friends who use Know how to easily access drugs Family drama Known for name Philadelphia makes hard to move on from Howard – potential to stay in relationship DE reminds me of Beau Regret not taking chance People, places + things Boredom – feeling “stuck” – “Is this it?” Monday 7am – Workout 8:30 Divas 10am – Fed Ex – send box home 12pm – Caron for notes + say goodbye
LinguisticAnalysis
Sentiment (-1=negative, 1=positive) | |
Score | -0.21326727460153 |
Emotion Scores (0-1) | |
Joy | 0.35917747373905 |
Sadness | 0.2 |
Fear | 0 |
Anger | 0 |
Surprise | 0.0661283755986 |
Disgust | 0 |
Key Words | |
time fair freak thing slightly differently use problem approach friend |