BasicInfo
Please note that every effort has been made to keep all content of the diary entries identical to the original (including things like line breaks). The only modification that has been made is standardization of the dates, since several different formats were used (m.d.y, m/d/y, m-d-y). You may notice that some entries end abruptly or trail off - this is not due to incorrect transcription - feel free to compare to the original pdf copy at bidendiary.com.
DiaryEntry
2019-02-16
They say everything happens for a reason + some people only come into your life for a season. I know I was meant to be here with Kevin – to truly let him go. He wasn't the man that I needed/ wanted him to be. He is a descent[sic] man with a family that he should bring back together. I think our impulses, compulsions, + obsessions brought us together + gave us rose colored glasses – God has a bigger plan. It's now been 7 days since my last cigarette + I don't think I can and/or will be going back there. My energy levels are stable and feel 0 desire to smoke. When my mom worked me up this weekend – I grounded myself + I breathed – it actually worked. My system is off but getting adjusted to new medications. I need to drink plenty of water + going to use the gym later on today. I don't know how long + I do know that I can't/won't intentionally. But who knows he may even find his way back to her. We are so different in many ways – our background, maybe some of our values – but we both share simillar[sic] joy's + jokes + sensibilities. As he told me today, he is a breath of fresh air. He is racist but doesn't mean to be – I will educate him. As best I can – and we may find our values are too different + then we will deal with that. Cross that bridge when we get there. He does understand that it's wrong + I think he is willing to make changes + open to doing better. That was how he was raised – and only completed 10th grade. He doesn't have a high school diploma or college education but he has a sensibility, a resilience, an attitude, and a way that is so refreshing, light, and makes me happy. All the education in the world couldn't make him like that – this is what I ♥ about him.
LinguisticAnalysis
| Sentiment (-1=negative, 1=positive) | |
| Score | 0.13610670504762 |
| Emotion Scores (0-1) | |
| Joy | 0.2183308676623 |
| Sadness | 0 |
| Fear | 0.022270971665841 |
| Anger | 0.027190894150461 |
| Surprise | 0.30277077353576 |
| Disgust | 0.0041528009373715 |
| Key Words | |
| know going way mean different values bring happen long intentionally | |
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