BasicInfo
Please note that every effort has been made to keep all content of the diary entries identical to the original (including things like line breaks). The only modification that has been made is standardization of the dates, since several different formats were used (m.d.y, m/d/y, m-d-y). You may notice that some entries end abruptly or trail off - this is not due to incorrect transcription - feel free to compare to the original pdf copy at bidendiary.com.
DiaryEntry
2019-02-11
It's manipulation has it's finest – we will learn a great truth – The plan will happen in spite of us – not b/c of us. Sexual abuse for sure – weak boundaries The day ended up on a positive note. Had a great clinical day. The lesson that I learned is I am either completely “put together” and could run the group OR I am the 6 year old little girl on the bench. There needs to be a happy medium. I don't have to be completely closed off or completely immature, dependent, and young. A good skill for me is when I am feeling the little girl want to respond – I acknowledge her. “I am Ashley Blazer Biden + I recognize my 5 year old self. I acknowledge her but the grown-up version of me is now going to address her while caring for her. I was given the hunger games to read as an assignment. Kevin is actually coming around + being sweeter. It's interesting how there are two very distinct sides of me that I would like to meld together. Tomorrow is going to be a great day. Getting up early, meditating – boxing, full clinical day and meeting with sponsor – then meeting – business meeting. I probably won't see Eric tomorrow + I'm ok with that. It's getting easier to find my time + space – with only myself. I wish I had 2 more weeks here to really hone what I am starting to learn. But going to make the most of my time and plan on making a move down here. It's only going to be temporary – although I do love my time @ home. I want to spend the weekend with Eric if possible – I will be finished the program Friday + leave on Monday. The transition will be difficult for me – this I know for sure – But I have much to do – In the limited time here/there + it's time to make moves. Schedule for tomorrow – 6:30 – wake up/coffee shower 7:30am – leave for gym Hour to do treadmill, stretch + meditate 8:30-9am – Boxing Shower Group
LinguisticAnalysis
| Sentiment (-1=negative, 1=positive) | |
| Score | 0.16967420569596 |
| Emotion Scores (0-1) | |
| Joy | 0.70421846056483 |
| Sadness | 0.11318547197014 |
| Fear | 0 |
| Anger | 0 |
| Surprise | 0.45627867078321 |
| Disgust | 0 |
| Key Words | |
| time day going great year old completely clinical leave tomorrow | |
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